‘Why I’m Filipino’

Writer Carlene Bonnivier

In response to the idea that Filipino American members of Philippine sports teams are not Filipino enough, I have this to say: I have green eyes and brown hair, yet, when I was 17 and had to go someplace to people that I thought might accept me, I sent a telegram to my “Filipino” auntie in Washington, DC. (I found out that although it wasn’t being hidden, she was not actually my blood-auntie but a lifelong “sister” to my mother and was half-Filipino and half-Welch).

I wondered if she might meet me at the airport, but just in case, I had her phone number so I could call and get advice about maybe a YWCA I could stay at. It was 1957, and we didn’t have the long separations due to wait-lines for customs and security that we have today. What I remember and will never ever forget was that there were two car-loads of Filipinos waiting for me at the airport (some of whom looked European, but many were in the Philippines during the Japanese occupation and had suffered that together. I hadn’t, but I was received as if I had because I was PART OF THE FAMILY.

If you understand what family really means, you know what a Filipino is. If you don’t, you can’t understand it and you can question it because you’re on the outside of the most beautiful understanding of love and acceptance and camaraderie there is; that means you have not been lucky enough to experience Filipino communities/families/teams.

I would like to add that if you have one drop of blood that can be traced to Africa and you are American, you are then perceived as African American. Well, (if all the chromosomes were accurate) 25 percent of my DNA is Filipino, but you would never guess it from looking at me. I am the spitting image of my Swedish father, but I grew up in my mother’s culture and the culture of poor people in what’s now known in Los Angeles as Filipinotown.

But even if I had not a drop of Filipino blood, if I had grown up in the Philippines or in the downtown L.A.’s diverse culture, including Filipinos, I would be Filipino. As it is, I am loved by my Filipino “family” and I return love and fealty and gratitude for having a place in this world that I am welcomed. I am, therefore, Filipino.

Carlene Bonnivier is an author and playwright.