California mom shows her love through cooking
Mabel Javier cooking her way to her children’s hearts. CONTRIBUTED
Mabel Javier was excited. Finally, after six years she was reunited with her three kids, Joshua Gabriel, now 20, Jesan Marie, 19, and John Raphael, 13. Unfortunately, her long absence had created a void in their relationship. She did not know their favorite food. Yet, she cooked tinola.
Seeing the yellowish soup, her kids’ faces dimmed. It was not the same chicken-ginger soup they were used too.
“I am a mother. I don’t know my kids well enough because back in the Philippines, I worked a lot,” Mabel says.
Despite this, she firmly resolved to give her best to become a real mother to the kids she barely knew. Even by cooking their favorite tinola, kare-kare and adobo.
Career shift, life changes
Mabel, 43, knew challenges, having been raised from a poor family in Mindoro. In college, her aunts in the United States prodded her to study nursing. Her grandparents sent her to the university.
“I saved my allowance so I could send money to my family,” she remembers.
Mabel Javier’s children through the years. CONTRIBUTED
However, after passing the board exam, she found herself working as an employee relations chairman (ERC) of one of the largest banks in Ayala, Makati. She worked in Makati for ten years.
“I loved the corporate world. I cannot imagine myself really working in a hospital because I was germophobic,” Mabel says.
Mabel knows that her reasons for not working as a nurse may be shallow.
“I imagined myself wearing white scrubs or scrubs with hello kitty, etc. It’s not just me. I was so addicted to Starbucks. If I were in a hospital, how could I buy my coffee?” she laughs.
Immigrating to another country was far from Mabel’s mind. Her husband is an OFW in West Africa and holds a managerial position there. Mabel and her three children lived comfortably in Manila. Besides, they wanted their children to experience the good life they never had when they were young.
It was when Mabel’s father died that she began questioning herself.
“Although I have my own family, I still support my family. When my father died, I began to worry about my children’s future. I don’t want to be dependent. I should make a change,” Mabel recalls.
America means change
Mabel flew to California in 2008. She started as a live-in caregiver. Her relatives, who are mostly working in the medical sector, once again told her to practice nursing because it is the easiest way to change her life as well as her family’s.
Thinking of her children and her family back home, Mabel set aside her indifference to nursing.
“I was able to pass the California Board of Nursing. I got my license in 2012 and job offers just came in,” Mabel enthuses.
To ease homesickness, she purposely deactivated her Facebook and Viber accounts. She did not want to see her children because it would hurt her more.
“I also missed manicure/pedicure, spa, Starbucks, shopping etc. I was crying because my feet got callous from walking. I did not have a car then,” she says.
Currently, Mabel is a senior registered nurse at a medical center and a case manager at a hospital.
Mothering in America
In 2014, Mabel’s children arrived. The kids adjusted well in school but were still adjusting to a life of independence from nannies and aunts. Mabel somehow regrets the time she spent away working while her kids were growing up.
“They grew up with nannies. They could not even tie their shoe laces or cut their nails. I told my sister to teach them to cook rice,” Mabel laments.
Mabel Javier at work. CONTRIBUTED
Mother and children both tried their best to adapt to each other’s presence. Mabel brought them to Disneyland and Hollywood. It was also her first time because she wanted to go there with her kids.
Food as a way to children’s hearts
When she was living alone, Mabel did not cook. But her kids love good food. Whenever they go out, the kids would ask for kare-kare. Soon, she found herself in the kitchen trying out recipes from You Tube or asking friends. She is ecstatic every time the siblings approve of her menus.
“I have two full-time and two on-call jobs. But I see to it that in the morning, I cook their breakfast and lunch. I have to be home at dinner time to cook,” she explains.
Most of the time the kids stay in their rooms. Mabel is left alone watching her favorite telenovela on TFC. Bonding time usually happens at the dining room. This is where they discuss their grades, problems or anything they want to say. Before going to bed, she also checks on them to say goodnight. She sees to it that John Raphael has milk on his bedside.
“My kids hate loud people. They are quiet and observant. I am also proud that despite growing up without me and their father, they grew up well. I always instill in their minds the importance of respect for all kinds of people. I never hide that we were very poor then. I just want them to involve me more in their activities, like knowing their friends and their plans,” Mabel says.
“When you have a child, that’s when responsibility starts. You don’t own yourself anymore.”
Tonight, Mabel cooks sinigang na baboy for her kids. While cooking, the siblings are anxiously waiting to taste the love of a mother.
