How to respond to rude comments about you during family gatherings
Family reunion season means a few things, but among people under the age of 35, it means it’s time to hear a year’s worth of things your family has to say about you (and it’s usually not great things).
Filipino family dynamics are complicated—to put it mildly—but it can also get pretty messy if your relatives aren’t as kind and prudent as they should be.
There’s a multitude of ways to deal with people who make unnecessary (and oftentimes hurtful) comments about you. It can be about your body, where you are in life, if you’re seeing anyone, and literally anything else about you.
While most family members (like your Tita Marites) say these things under the guise of good intentions, if it hurts, it hurts. Depending on your mood, here are three options on how to respond to typical rude comments hurled at you during these events. You can take the polite, spicy, or even nuclear option.
Again, the choice is yours. But make sure to take all of these potential responses with a grain of salt. Your Tito Boy might not like what you have to say.
“Ay! You got fat!” as said by your irritatingly chismosa tita
Polite response: “Just happy to be eating well!”
Spicy response: “Well, your weight doesn’t really determine how healthy you are.”
Nuclear response: “Better fat than someone who doesn’t mind her own business, honestly.”
“Hm. I thought you’d be farther in life at this point,” as said by your “small business owner” tito
Polite response: “Good thing that I still have lots of time!”
Spicy response: “Life isn’t a race, so I’m right where I’m supposed to be.”
Nuclear response: “At this point, at least I’m doing way better than you.”
“Wow, your skin really isn’t looking good, noh?” as said by your cousin who’s way into looks
Polite response: “Yeah, I’ve been really stressed out lately.”
Spicy response: “I think we should be past policing how other people look. Don’t you agree?”
Nuclear response: “Yeah, well. At least my looks are the least interesting thing about me. Unlike some people.”
“Is that a tattoo?” as said by your hyper religious extended relative
Polite response: “Yes, po,” you say as you run away.
Spicy response: “Yes, po. Do you want to take a closer look?”
Nuclear response: “Yes, po! Do you want the tattoo artist’s number so you can get your favorite bible verse tattooed?”
“So sad you’re still single” as said by your thrice-divorced second aunt
Polite response: “It’s just not my time yet.”
Spicy response: “Yeah, now there are two of us who are single by choice.”
Nuclear response: “Ugh I know right? What about you po? Are you seeing anyone now? So sorry about your recent divorce, I always thought third time’s the charm.”
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