Binibining Filipina, may dangal at puri

“Human love does not tolerate ‘trial marriages.’ It demands a total and definitive gift of persons to one another” (Catechism of Catholic Church, 2352-2391).

It’s cool. It’s edifying to remember what Megan Young, crowned 2013 Miss World, once revealed: “Well, I’m pro-life and against divorce.” And, dear Gen Zer, hear from her a sweet soundbite regarding sex and marriage: “Sex is for marriage. That’s my belief. You say no. If he tries to push you, you step away, because that person doesn’t value you…”

Janine Tugonon, another beauty and brains, crowned 2012 Miss Universe Philippines, made a similar statement: “This is my principle… marriage is sacred.”

Miss World Megan Young. WIKIPEDIA

Refreshing, isn’t it? Almost an incredible principle held by Filipina brains and beauty. And if we go international, we think of Hollywood, which is notoriously overflowing with tales of sex scandals, multiple partners, or changing partners like changing diapers, etcetera. Yet, listen up, there are big stars who vowed to keep their virginity until their wedding day.

Yes, you heard it right. There are celebrities who stayed virgins or vowed to wait until marriage, which include pop star-turned-fashion designer Jessica Simpson, the Jonas Brothers (who wore purity rings to symbolize their conviction), Victoria’s Secret supermodel Adriana Lima, the popular sports figure Tim Tebow, to name a few.

A personal conviction

It’s public knowledge that Nikki Gilbroke up with Billy Crawford, and the cause was the gentleman’s “infidelity.” Nikki on her part chose to remain celibate until marriage. In 2015, she married BJ Albert and retired from showbiz to focus on family. Her words were music to the angels’ ears: “Nobody told me to stay a virgin (before marriage). It’s my choice.”

The same principiowas articulated by Yeng Constantinobefore tying the knot with Victor “Yan” Asuncion in 2015: “There’s no pre-marital sex… No to it. We want to honor marriage.”

Call me old-fashioned, but this is how I describe a beautiful and intelligent Filipina:

Maka-Diyos, marangal at may puri,
Maka-kalikasan, nagmamahal sa buhay,
Magalang sa magulang at matatanda,
Makapagmalasakit sa bayan…

Trial marriage, teenage pregnancy

Even in prostitution and global human trafficking, the virgin gets a premium and fetches a higher price. More so in the eyes of God and, I dare say, that’s the reason why Mary, the chosen Mother of Jesus, is ever Virgin. In short, virginitymatters a lot!

“If we pick a wildflower and take it from its natural environment, it wilts quickly. So, too, the satisfaction of sex is short-lived when it is torn from the setting for which God designed it (Matrimony)” [Dennis Mccallum, The Myth of Romance, Bethany House, 1996].

Janine Tugonon. FACEBOOK

500 Filipino teenagers become mothers every day. In Puerto Princesa, Palawan, Angela was just 14 the first time she got pregnant. Her boyfriend was 19 then… and she confessed: “I wanted to cry; I was pushing him away. But he said he would take responsibility and that he loved me.”

My heart goes out to Angela whose first pregnancy ended up in miscarriage. She’s now a mother of four, her youngest being a newborn child.

Lust, the antithesis of purity

Self-discipline related to sex is always a big challenge and in the mind of St. Francis de Sales (1567-1622): “Chastity is the lily of the virtues, and makes men almost equal to angels” (Introduction to the Devout Life).

Antithetically, there is lust. Lust is innate. In the Catholic morality, lust is the effect of Original Sin, hence a weakness of human nature. And there’s a vicious cycle of lust, where lust looks for a series of victims and never has enough.

This inordinate passion within is never happy because it is never satisfied. Lust steals true joy by creating an endless mess of unhappy endings.

They say boys are boys, and they seek all opportunities and choose to enjoy the best of both worlds of premarital and marital sex. Others are caught between two stools. But there are very few boys coming from buenas familias, thanks to the good example of their dad, who make a strong commitment to virginity and purity, and are resolved to avoid all occasions of lust.

As the American bishops have said: “Whereas lust uses another person as a means for sexual gratification, chastity affirms the whole person, body and soul, over and above his or her sexual qualities” (Create in Me a Clean Heart, November 2015).

Honor

Once I asked some female students of an exclusive college in Manila what synonyms they could think of when they hear the word “virginity.” Answers, as I expected, varied from chastity to self-discipline, from honor to celibacy and purity.

The wordhonor, in particular, got my attention because it sounded like dangal at puri. And the Filipinas who ignore virginity are those, sorry for the words, walang dangal at puri.No judgment. No blaming. Only an honest analysis on my part.

So, I went to the next level. I asked them what action wordsthey could think when they hear the word “virginity.” There was silence. Ummhh. Reflection. Thinking. Then feedback pulled in one by one. And of all the feedback on the “action words” this is what I loved most: Study first, enjoy later.

Soon enough, one student made it much better: God first, family second, study third, and enjoy later. And, for me, it summarizes the firm conviction that makes a young Filipina always beautiful inside out.

Jose Mario Bautista Maximiano is the author of 24 Plus Contemporary People (2019). Comments to [email protected] or twitter.com/DrMaximiano