Wedding Showers vs. Bridal Showers: What You Need to Know

Love is a beautiful thing, but marriage is the real deal. Are you planning your wedding and cannot tell the difference between wedding showers and bridal showers? You are not alone.

Many people, just like you, only find out the difference months before their weddings. This guide will help you understand the differences between bridal and wedding showers. 

A bridal shower/wedding shower is a co-ed event with a shower of gifts, adoration, and love for the bride/couple about to get married.

Nuptial events are usually arranged in stages. The wedding/bridal showers are pre-wedding events, a celebration galore where friends and families, and others celebrate the spouse individually before they come together eventually.

What’s the purpose of a Bridal shower?

The bridal shower, also known as the hen(s) party, or bachelorette party, is a girls-only event where the attendees (often the bride’s closest friends) give the wife-to-be a special treat and shower her gifts. The event is as ceremonial as it is heartfelt. 

When a group of female friends who have known each other for quite a while sends out a member to the institution of marriage, it is an emotional moment. The Hollywood portrayal of the bridal shower always involves alcohol (and lots of it). However, brides can choose to observe a sober stagette for religious, privy, or health reasons. 

Instead of the bachelorette party, some brides opt for bridesmaid luncheons. Unlike the bachelorette party, a bridesmaid luncheon is a daytime event where the bride spends time with her bridesmaids and flower girls.

Wedding shower vs. Bridal shower: The difference

A bridal shower is a traditional gathering of all the girls (including the bridesmaids) to celebrate the bride. 

The bride is the center of the event, with her closest female friends and family members gathering to congratulate her on her engagement and offer gifts.

On the other hand, wedding parties are pre-wedding (nuptial) events where the guest list includes both men and women. Not only is the bride celebrated this time – both the bride and groom are present.

A bridal shower theme is a more modern and inclusive version of the typical bridal shower. Wedding showers are also suitable for queer relationships where neither person is a “bride.”

The Wedding Party Tradition

The bridal shower is an age-old wedding tradition that dates back to the 16th century in Holland. It all started long ago when the father of a young girl refused to provide a dowry for a marriage he disapproved of. 

The town came together and offered her modest gifts to help her start her home without her dowry. 

This story is a Dutch folktale about a wealthy lady who fell in love with a pig farmer. Her disapproving father threatened to withhold her dowry, so her friends and family instead showered her with personal gifts so that she could bring something to the marriage.

The concept of the wedding stems from the idea that the bride should have something to bring to the wedding as a gift for the groom. 

Since then, the tradition’s core has been passed down over the years. Today, it’s about giving gifts to couples to take to their new home.

This bridal shower or bridal party began as a way for brides to pile up their dowry when nothing else was ready. Historically, a bride’s dowry was the money and possessions she brought into the marriage. 

In wealthy families, the dowry came from the family property. A woman with a valuable dowry is more desirable. At this point, the parents usually arrange the marriage and match the bride and groom appropriately for their social and economic status.

Victorian-era bridal showers were literal showers of gifts, with the tradition of placing small objects on parasols and throwing them over the bride. Since gift-giving is tied to the origins of the bridal shower, it is almost always a central part of the daytime event.

Read more: How to have the best micro wedding

Who Hosts Wedding Showers and Bridal Showers?

A maid of honor traditionally hosts bridal showers. Bridesmaids also tag along and help plan the event. The bride’s or groom’s mother can also help if the event is large or elaborate.

The maid of honor and the best man often host wedding showers/parties together. These two co-celebrants can enlist the help of others at the wedding party, such as bridesmaids and groomsmen. Such parties are also hosted by the bride and groom’s parents or a group of friends wishing to celebrate the couple.

However, if you’re hosting a traditional women-only bridal shower, you would generally only give gifts to the bride rather than the groom. She may receive family heirlooms, beauty products, lingerie, or “something old” to wear to the wedding.

On the wedding day, both the bride and groom are equally pampered. If guests presented the bride with a gift just for her, the groom might receive a similar one. Most gifts are personal items that couples can use together and enjoy equally.

What Activities?

At traditional bridal showers, women often play different themed bridal shower games, such as baby showers, balloon throwing, truth or dare, and more.

Popular activities include making wedding dresses out of toilet paper, hosting a fashion show, and working in teams on little things about the bride. 

However, there is no rule restricting bride-to-bes to these games, especially if it does fit the person’s personality or her fun theme.

Sometimes you find fair games at wedding parties and receptions, but they are more inclusive. For example, a trivia game contains questions about the bride and groom. 

Two people can even compete for trivia answers about each other. Wedding showers also take an alternative route to entertainment and a few games, such as cornhole, beach volleyball, kickball, bowling, or miniature golf. 

Who is supposed to pay for the bachelorette party?

Usually, the bride’s immediate family does not concern themselves with the logistics of the bridal shower. The same is true for the bride and groom. They have too much on their plates and need not bother about anything apart from the main wedding events. 

It is often done at parties. Hosts can choose a lovely restaurant, gardens, or the maid of honor or bridesmaid’s home. There, they keep the guests’ gifts for the groom and bride-to-be. Other traditional bridal shower destinations include a tea room, winery, event space, or coffee shop.

Couples usually hold wedding shower receptions in more inclusive and informal settings. A wedding shower can be a cookout, potluck, or dinner event—you can choose a park pavilion, brewery, or restaurant.

The bride or groom’s mother and the maid of honor can host and sponsor the bridal shower. Also, the maid of honor and another bridesmaid can take it upon themselves to shoulder the responsibilities of the bachelorette party. It is normal for the bride’s parents to play their part in the financial role. 

There are no strict rules guiding who pays or not. The aunts and cousins of the bride can also come into the picture. Since the pre-wedding event is personal, it is natural for the attendees to bear the cost.

Final Thoughts

Now that you know the difference between bridal and wedding showers, you can plan accordingly. If you are throwing a shower for your friend or loved one, make sure to choose the right type of party so they can celebrate their upcoming nuptials in style!

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