An immigrant’s ‘radical life’

Left to right Carmela Yee, Xtlan Pax, Irma (Niel’s partner), Niel and Sokie (seated). CONTRIBUTED

In the Philippines, she was Ma. Socorro Paulin Ballesteros or Soki (Suki ng Bayan). She wrote about the struggles of Overseas Filipino Workers (OFW) and dramatized these in DZRH and DZMM radio stations. She was Teatrong Walang Bakod’s (Theater Without Border’s) acclaimed actor and playwright, a Catholic Mass Media Awardee ’98 for Best Radio Program, an advocate against sex trafficking and activist. She survived the Marcos Dictatorship as the leader of the International Women’s League, and the Mendiola Massacre under Cory Aquino.

She knew immigrant and labor rights like the back of her hand having worked in various non-profit organizations.

Later, when she decided to immigrate, the dramatizations and plays she had written became her own experiences.

If her journey were a play, she would call it Radical Life.

“I was an illegal migrant for twelve years. I got married four times — the last was the authentic same-sex marriage that I have fought for with the LGBT community. I left my kids when they were children and met them again as young adults,” she recalls via video call.

On September 20, 2017, Soki was sworn in as a new US citizen with a changed legal name as

Sokie Andia Paulin-Yee.

International work

On October 11, 1993, Sokie, and former husband Niel Ballesteros, an urban poor organizer of ZOTO (Zone One Tondo Organization), were abducted by the military in Pantranco, Quezon City.

Sokie’s children when they reunited with her after 12 years: Left to right, Xtlan Pax, Pauline and Jose Krisanto. CONTRIBUTED

Niel was forced to wear a military uniform, photographed and videotaped on a drinking spree with “military colleagues” to show the warring factions of the left that there were military moles in the movement. That era was characterized by the splits in the National Democratic Front and Communist Party of the Philippines.

Thousands of letters from the Amnesty International members all over the world rained the office of the then-President Fidel Ramos, supporting the Ballesteros.

The couple went into hiding but was forced to get out in the open for the premier of Sokie’s play, “Bumulaklak” for the brain-injured children at the UP Theater. Notable musician Ryan Cayabyab composed the theme song sung by Nonoy Zuniga. Performers included brain-injured children and children of well-known leaders of the underground left movement.

Sokie was dismissed by Amnesty International Philippines, which led to a long legal battle. In 2013, the Supreme Court ordered AI to pay her wages and damages. Sokie donated the amount to The Child’s World Foundation for scholarships for brain-injured children.

She was hired by International Organization for Migration East Asia as Information, Education and Communication Specialist.

For IOM, Sokie has produced and performed live 80 times the play “We’re so Syndicated, Ma’am,” a preventive education tool against sex trafficking of children and women. It was performed in Korea, Thailand, Philippines, US and in Europe. The Belgian Government funded the production of 50,000 copies of videos dubbed in Ilocano, Waray, Ilonggo and English subtitles for IOM Manila Regional Office. Along with another Filipino actor, Lakan Bunyi, Sokie were applauded for their performances at the 44^th Session of the UN Commission on the Status of Women in New York in 1999.

Working in international organizations brought Sokie to many parts of the world – Norway,

Switzerland, UK, all over Asia, and a ten-year multiple entry visa to the United States.

Finding the greener pasture

As her children grew, Sokie gathered enough courage to come out as a lesbian wife and mother. She encouraged her husband, Niel, to find his high school friend Irma. Niel and Irma have been living together since.

“My children were studying in private schools. My job was totally dependent on per project proposal funding and was not sustainable to send my children to college. Without foreign funding, I wouldn’t have a project and a job,” Sokie explains.

She left behind her three children ages 6, 8 and 10 for greener pastures abroad.

Sokie flew to London in 2000. With friends at Show Philippines, they did immigrant radio program and produced a concert of Jose Mari Chan. She then immigrated to US.

In the US, Sokie met her gay childhood friend who offered her marriage to get a permanent resident status. She divorced Niel first.

“Despite (the friend’s) good intentions, the marriage did not work. I married and divorced him twice,” Sokie says.

She became an undocumented alien for 12 years. She worked several jobs like Navy commissary bagger with no salary but just tips from customers; and as a domestic cook, caregiver, and administrator for several board and care homes in the Bay Area. It took a toll on her health. She suffered from depression.

“My siblings in New York sent money for my ticket back home. They even paid a person to bring me home. But I did not show up at the airport. They never spoke to me for over ten years. I eventually recovered and continued my journey,” Sokie says.

To avoid homesickness, Sokie kept herself busy as a volunteer for same-sex marriage advocacy with the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center (LAGLC). She did volunteer work for various film festivals in LA.

She also took courses in Spiritual Counseling and is now a Licensed Spiritual Counselor of

Inspire Spiritual Community, an LGBT spirituality group based in West Hollywood. Sokie is offering her spiritual counseling services via Facebook messenger video or voice calls to OFWs and LGBT communities all over the world.

In 2010, she was named one of the 100 Most Influential Filipino Women in the USA by the Philippine Women’s Network.

Green Card

In 2004, the Pegasus Home Health Care, her employer, sponsored her for labor certification.

Fortunately, due to her earlier canceled petition as domestic cook from her Jewish employer in

April 2001, she qualified for the 245(i) of the Immigration and Naturalization Act. This changed her status to legal permanent resident or green card holder without leaving the United States. She paid a $1,000 penalty.

As a requirement for labor certification, the Department of Labor and Pegasus Home Health

Care had to advertise in the LA Times for the job position. The Labor Certification has to justify the need to hire foreign workers in the absence of local applicants.

In 2011, Sokie was granted a work permit enabling her to have social security number, and a driver’s license. A few days before Christmas, she received her green card or permanent resident card. She came home for the first time after 12 years in April 2012 and was able to petition for her children.

“They were young adults. My eldest, Jose Krisanto, is already a registered nurse. I cannot forget what my youngest told me: Natulog lang ako, paggising ko wala na ang Nanay ko (I just went to bed and when I woke up my mother was no longer there),” Soki relates.

Ixtlan Pax, the youngest, arrived in 2013, while Pauline came in 2014. Jose is still in the process now under the category of a child of US citizen over 21 years old. Ixtlan enlisted in the military. He became a full-pledged US citizen before he graduated from the US Navy boot camp. He petitioned for his father. Niel and Irma arrived in 2017.

A fulfilled life

“I had spiritual awakening and I forgave myself over and over again,” Sokie says.

Sokie married her partner, Carmela Yee, a Filipino nurse, on June 18, 2016 in California.

“My children are very lucky because they have three mothers: me, my wife, Carmela, and their father’s girlfriend Irma,” Sokie explains.

At 56, Sokie retired from her job as a medical biller and collector in Pegasus.

“I woke up one day, asking for my purpose in life. I don’t need to work anymore; I have done my job for my children now that the two are here in the US. My life-long dream to become a housewife is fulfilled,” she says.

Yet, she found also her purpose on a different level.

Sokie is taking care of Lila Yee, her 70-year-old sister-in-law who is mentally disabled, who Soki says gives her fulfilment and meaning to her life right now.

“Lila taught me how to love unconditionally. It’s altruism in action, knowing she cannot pay me back in any way because of her mental and physical conditions,” Sokie says.

Bloom anywhere

With her experiences, Sokie realizes that immigrant workers left their families for love.

Love pushed them away and also made them come back.

“Wherever you are is a Holy Ground because you are a child of God. You will bloom, you will flourish. Love and honor yourself because the power is in you, God is in you 24/7. Know that the

Higher Power (or The Force) is inside of you and you can access it to manifest your desired reality. Love yourself, first and foremost and you will flourish. You can be whatever you want,”

Sokie advises immigrants.