The Necktie Approach: Your guide to being a better husband

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Marriages are under attack today, and even good marriages face challenges—communication problems, infidelity or betrayal, financial problems, psychological, emotional, and physical abuse, and loss of interest. Sadly, cheating is one of the most common stupid things a husband could ever do to his spouse.

There are several reasons why husbands cheat on their wives. One risk factor is due to a distant relationship. God intended the husband and wife to live together under one roof. This was His original plan. That’s why after the wedding ceremony, the woman leaves her family and starts to live with her new husband. However, although this is the ideal scenario, many marriages suffer communication problems and marital infidelity from a distant relationship.

A good example is the case of most Overseas Filipino Workers (OFWs) who leave their husbands or wives due to economic reasons. When one partner is away, there is a greater risk of being tempted due to loneliness. If adultery occurs even when there is the presence of a wife, how much more when a spouse is not around?

When this happens, a strong line of communication between the two couples is non-negotiable. Fortunately, the digital age has enabled couples to be easily connected with one another even though they are ocean miles apart. Unfortunately, social media and other forms of online communication can also be tools to hook a husband who is not totally committed to his partner.

Let’s say an OFW accepted a friend request in social media from his ex-lover. Of course, his action is without malice. Then he begins chatting more with each other over social media and spend more time with her than with his own wife. Later on, after series of conversations he agree to see each other—perhaps at a simple dinner outside. This is absolutely risky as the spouse is not around. And he knows what would happen next. He showers her with attention and devotion in the absence of your spouse until the emotional connection is formed. The price of a dream financial freedom is replaced by an illicit relationship abroad which eventually ruins a once happy family.

In some occasions, a husband is usually seeks adventure—something that is thrilling and exciting. This does not only happen in the movies but in real life. When a husband is flirting with another woman, it gives him short-term pleasure, especially when he is bored and his wife is not around. The cheating spouse may not even have physically cheated, but may be having an online relationship with someone. He or she may be living out a fantasy while “cybering” with an individual online. However, the effect is oftentimes detrimental and lasting to a spouse.

There is no doubt falling in love is easy, but building a successful marriage can be a lifelong challenge for most couples. Sometimes a husband feels bored and feel fed up due to unexpected challenges—hurtful words and bickering, lack of transparency in handling finances, different priorities in life, overly demanding spouse, unfaithfulness to one another, and burnout in marriage.

Instead of nurturing a satisfying companionship with his spouse, he diverts much time with his work and friends—then eventually he finds himself gradually flirting with other young women. Sooner or later his life becomes miserable after some years in marriage. He may be thriving in his job or profession, but his role as a husband is another aspect of his life he may need to improve.

Being a better husband requires commitment and dedication.  If you’re committed to navigate your role as a husband, you need to redefined your purpose and reflect how you can improve your role as a husband. When you feel like being choked and your marriage is slowly shutting down, especially when you are financially pressured because of Covid-19 crisis, consider applying the Necktie Approach to uncover profound insights and doable tips to transform your marriage into a more vibrant, healthy relationship. The Necktie Approach is an acronym which consist of:

Never Stop Courting and Dating Your Wife

Ensure You Are Proactive in Managing Finances

Compliment and Uplift Her Spirit

Kiss and Hug Your Spouse

Think of Resolving Conflict Soon

Improve Your Listening Skills

Enhance Your Spiritual Leadership

This guide book is available at Amazon and AcuteByDesign, a publishing company in the US and have been read and recommended by Bo Sanchez, Dr. Alvin Ang, and also features real-life stories of some Overseas Filipino Workers.

Being a great husband is not keeping a picture of your spouse in your wallet. It is keeping promises to your wife in your heart. Remember, in the midst of every difficult situation there is no problem too big you can’t manage as long as you’re always together, especially during the most difficult times of your marriage.

Jun Amparo is the author of two inspirational books about personal finance and marriage. He is a nominee for Huwarang OFW 2019 organized by The 700 Club Asia and is pursuing his doctoral study in education. Presently, he is working as a university counselor and instructor at Asia-Pacific International University in Thailand. To learn more about him, please visit his blog at www.richlyblessedtoday.com.  This article is an excerpt from the book  The Necktie Approach which was printed by the AcuteByDesign Publishing in the US.