The Thanksgiving talk – plus remembering grandma

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Are you having the talk this Thanksgiving? 

You know the talk—the one where you’re asking your friends and relatives if they, or why they, walked away from Kamala Harris. 

This is a tough moment. The reality is sinking in. Trump is using affirmative action for his non-qualified white cabinet members, and the GOP is gloating. 

We’re in this mess because Trump got more Latino, Black and Asian voters to go MAGA than ever before. The majority of those groups still voted Democrat. But just enough turned Red to shrink Kamala’s piece of pie. 

Bottom line: Republicans are becoming more diverse on the fringe. Which could be a good thing, if we all really tried to talk to one another and work together. 

For now, it depends on what Trump feels like.

This was not expected 

Ethnic journalists like myself first sensed our nation’s demographic shift back in 1989. It was projected that by the 2030s, there would be more of us. And that would mean a New America! 

Hallelujah?

Now here we are in 2024, and on election day, people saw a smart, beautiful African American, Asian American woman and enough of us said pass.

When voters come to your house this Thanksgiving, ask them why? 

No arguments. Just talk.

But if it becomes an argument, then count to 10, take a deep breath, and let it pass.

Don’t stay political. Go spiritual. 

Remember the folks who lived through slavery and Jim Crow; Those who lived through Asian bachelor societies and the harsh migrant work from the fields to the Alaskan canneries. How did they all cope when they couldn’t fight back? They let the outside things go, but stayed strong on the inside.

They were ready for the day, when they would overcome.

And they all did. It took decades. But they all did. 

This strategy works too even if you’re all in agreement (You voted Democratic).  You stayed blue and now are bluer (aka depressed).  It’s ok to sing the blues this week.  But stay strong. Stay spiritual. Go ahead. Have more of that pie. And maybe next year, dump the turkey and the roast lechon on the table. (Filipinos have both). 

Next time, just get that vegan roast. And decorate with the sides. The potatoes, vegan gravy, more broiled veggies. Veggie lumpias. 

And eat more blueberries. And the good spices. Cinnamon. Ginger. 

It’s all better than Ozempic. And you’re not adding to the Thanksgiving turkey death toll.

Let them live. You need to be with the people you love. And that’s a lot to be thankful for.

This year I remember my mother-in-law

When my mother-in-law, my kids’ “Grandma” talked to me 15 years ago, the talk amongst the residents in her small town in Ohio was that there were people moving in. 

And they weren’t white. 

I found this a tad uncomfortable since she’s white and I’m very Filipino. 

But Grandma was ahead of the curve.  Besides an Asian American son-in-law (me),  her biological son was also engaged to a Latina woman from Mexico.

All of us had mixed-raced kids.

We helped balance out her views when some of the longtime residents in her neighborhood complained about  how the neighborhood was becoming “too diverse” for their tastes.

This month, my mother-in-law, the grandma of my kids, would learn how thankful she should be.

At 91, she was outside on her driveway and reached for a circular with all the weekly ads. Thanksgiving was coming up and as a child of the depression, she knew how to stretch a dollar. 

It was a week ago last Monday. 

Grandma fell and did not get up. Broken leg. 

No one came to help.

A car went by and sped away, ignoring her. Grandma laid there and no one came to help for several minutes. 

It was the 10-year-old son of the African American family, one of the new neighbors from across the street, who came to her aid. 

The young boy called 9-1-1. 

He was a hero. 

But it wasn’t enough to save grandma’s life.

In the hospital, doctors resuscitated grandma vigorously, enough to crack  her ribs, which led to an infection in the lungs, which complicated a surgery intended to mend a broken leg.

Everything the doctors did was compromised because Grandma couldn’t survive the cracked ribs and the broken leg.

She died in her hospital bed.

But I’m still thankful her neighbor, that 10-year-old boy who stepped up and helped. 

I’m thankful to him, and the family that raised him.

It’s a tragedy what happened to Grandma, but the act of this one young neighbor at least gave her a chance. 

The young boy’s act of heroism shows how lucky we are if we’re in communities where neighbors help neighbors in distress.

But how often do people look away and see what’s out in public as private. None of my business.

 When people are closed up, barely engaged, that’s not good. 

But when they’re out and about and know each other, we get opportunities to be kind, friendly, respectful and caring for one another.

We might offer them a taste of a vegan Thanksgiving, Filipino style.

That’s a country worth striving for, one for which we can genuinely be thankful for.

Emil Guillermo is a journalist and commentator. He writes a column for the Inquirer.net’s US Channel. See him on www.patreon.com/emilamok or on www.YouTube.com/@emilamok1