Spot Narcissism: 12 Traits to Look For on a First Date | Inquirer

12 Narcissistic Traits to Spot on a First Date

/ 11:35 PM June 01, 2023

Entering the dating scene can sometimes feel like walking in a minefield with potential threats lurking at every step. Often unrecognizable are the narcissistic traits a potential partner can possess.

By knowing how to identify these negative traits early on, you can safeguard yourself. Understanding it better can also help you make better choices about the people you let into your life.

It can be challenging to spot these narcissistic traits due to their sneaky nature, particularly in the early stages of dating. But armed with knowledge, you can be observant and vigilant.

Identifying Narcissistic Traits on Your First Date

12 Narcissistic Traits to Spot on a First Date
With proper understanding, you can avoid falling into a damaging and possibly manipulative relationship. So to set those walls on before falling deeper with someone, here are the 12 narcissistic traits to look out for on your first date.

1. Virtue Signaling and Moral Show off

If your date is obsessively focused on displaying themselves as trustworthy and honest, this is a potential red flag. Narcissists usually engage in virus signaling and moral grandstanding.

These attitudes are often present as a precautionary defense. It will make you doubt your judgments in the latter part of the relationship when their behaviors do not align with their words.

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2. Attempts to Instigate Jealousy

Research shows that these egotistic individuals often try to incite jealousy in their partners. They do it to have a sense of control and power to compensate for their low self-esteem.

If they attempt to make you jealous on your first date, it’s proof of narcissistic traits. Better head out that door, quick!

3. Blatant Mentioning of Exes

Even when unrelated or the topic is irrelevant, these narcissists tend to talk about their former partners. Sometimes, they devalue their exes or make up stories to gain your interest and make themselves look more appealing.

Be cautious if they focus more on their previous relationship than getting to know you better.

4. Fake Future

At the early stage of the relationship, a narcissist can often employ “future faking.” This strategy might sweep you off your feet by including you in their future plans that they have no intention of doing.

If they’re already talking g about buying a house with you on the first date, it’s a classic narcissistic move.

5. Obsessive Interest in Your Past

If they’re slowly digging into your personal history on your first date, it’s a red flag. They usually portray a disturbing interest in your past.

This is because they want to know your weaknesses and vulnerabilities. So later on, they can use them against you.

6. Pity Schemes and Excessive Interest in Empathy

Egotistic individuals often look for sympathy by sharing sad stories about their past. While they may appear interested in your empathy, this is an emotion that they lack.

If they’re attempting too much to earn your sympathy, be wary. This is a typical manipulation strategy that those with narcissistic traits often use.

7. Too Much Flattery and Love-Bombing

If they’re so engrossed in you early on, it might not be a positive sign but more like a clear proof of narcissistic traits. They use love-bombing strategies and shower you with flattery and attention.

This attitude can make you oversee their flaws. Over time, you might even be too dependent on their validations.

8. Disguised Jealousy and Envy

12 Narcissistic Traits to Spot on a First Date
Although they may look supportive, these individuals are often envious. They’re interested in attractive, successful, and talented individuals and soon use them to level up their own status.

9. Shortfall in Accountability

These egoists often don’t take responsibility for their behaviors. They rarely admit their mistakes and often blame others.

If they can easily blame others on your first date, it’s a sure sign of their narcissistic traits.

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10. Inexplicable Chemistry

A trait that they have already mastered is creating robust and unexplainable chemistry. They can make you feel like you’ve found “the one” with their mirroring skills.

They are masters of echoing your interests, hobbies, and beliefs. But beware, as this is sometimes just a show. Underneath that facade is a person who is more into their needs than yours.

11. Anticipation of Superior Treatment and Entitlement

Egoists expect exceptional treatment and often see themselves as more deserving than the others. They also show a strong need for entitlement.

If they show annoyance from not getting superior treatment or if they feel like they’re not on top of tasks, it’s a clear sign of narcissistic traits.

12. Exaggerated Sense of Self-Worth

12 Narcissistic Traits to Spot on a First Date
A telltale characteristic of narcissists is their inflated recognition of self-worth. They usually see themselves as superior to others and expect special treatment.

If your date shows too much need for admiration and believes they are superior, don’t go on a second date.


The first step to avoiding a possibly damaging relationship with a narcissist is awareness. You can safeguard yourself in the dating scene by thoroughly understanding and acknowledging these toxic traits.

Take note that it’s vital to trust your instincts. If something feels off, then most probably it is. When dating, your wellness should always be a top priority.

Remember, it’s not about demonizing the narcissists but knowing the possible harm their toxic traits can cause in a relationship. Making the right decisions on choosing your partner is crucial. Always stay aware and protect your heart.

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