Fil-Am mayor steers South San Francisco to resources for abuse prevention
ALLICE vice president Jennifer Jimenez Wong (left) details objectives of her all-volunteer organization to the South San Francisco City Council. CHERIE QUEROL MORENO
SOUTH SAN FRANCISCO – In her first City Council meeting coinciding with March 8, International Women’s Day, South San Francisco Mayor Flor Nicolas chose to shine the light on resources to promote the personal well-being of individuals, families and the community.
“Although the California state of emergency has been lifted, many are still suffering from the pandemic that has brought out the best and worst in us,” the city’s first Filipino American woman chief executive prefaced the premier presentation on the agenda.
Pointing to mental health as a major concern “because unfortunately some lash out at those closest to them perhaps out of fear or frustration,” she introduced San Mateo County-based Filipino American all-volunteer nonprofit Alliance for Community Empowerment as “an organization that combats all forms of abuse and educates about healthy and abusive relationships so the community may distinguish between the two, and change attitudes and behaviors for the better.”
Nicolas is the current president of the group also known as ALLICE formed in 2003 to stage free and open-to-the-public events to bring together diverse sectors to learn about positive interaction all around. She chaired her town’s Racial and Social Equity Commission formed in the wake of the George Floyd murder, helping quell and deter potential tension among 69,000 residents. ALLICE publishes the “A-List,” the first guide for family resource providers vetted for language and cultural sensitivity to work with immigrant, LGBTQ+ and underserved communities.
Lessons from tragedy
“March being Women’s History Month is an ideal time to address gender-based violence and hear from the group that enlightens the community about abuse, particularly between intimate partners and families,” Nicolas told Inquirer.net. “While anyone can become abused by having a relationship with someone who is abusive, majority of people who are abused are women, according to national statistics.”
ALLICE current vice president and presenter Jennifer Jimenez Wong began with the story of San Francisco resident Claire Joyce Tempongko, the single mother who was stalked, beaten and stabbed to to death 22 times by an ex-boyfriend in front of her two children at their home. Had the SFPD known the assailant was in violation of a restraining order, he would been kept in custody. Instead he robbed Justin Nguyen and Janine Bersabe of their mother.
“If the San Francisco police had attended domestic violence training they might have understood the cycle of abuse that confuses the survivor, or the barriers to leaving that compel her to stay with the perpetrator,” said Jimenez Wong, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “They would have known that abuse worsens over time and is often lethal. Fortunately county authorities today have learned from the experience with pilot programs giving police access to court databases.”
The mother to three girls 14, 13 and 3 years old defined abuse as “a pattern of behavior where one controls another through emotional, mental, financial and physical attacks.” The effects are debilitating and can have lifelong effects, even death, she said.
Safety plan
The scenario is not all bleak, Jimenez Wong assured, because help is available, often free at nonprofit agencies and public programs.
Therapists and advocates help set a safety plan for survivors and their loved ones. The plan includes keeping phone numbers for police, domestic violence agencies and local shelters as well as what to do in an attack by the perpetrator. Such a plan can save lives especially if the survivor is aware that abuse builds up to tension and explosion, Jimenez Wong stressed.
SMC Supervisor David Canepa swears in ALLICE 2023 leaders, from left: secretary Malou Aclan, vice president Jen Jimenez Wong and president Flor Nicolas, Mayor of South San Francisco. TONY BAYUDAN photo
“Recognizing signs for abusive behavior can prevent someone from an abusive relationship,” concluded the clinical supervisor at Fred Finch Children’s who also has her private practice.
South San Francisco Vice Mayor Mark Nagales, who was among ALLICE’s first male members, listened intently to the presentation.
“As the presentation was going on, I was flooded by all these great memories,” the city’s first FilAm mayor shared his thoughts with Inquirer.net. “I remember attending the meetings with (late honorary chair) Tita Alice (Bulos) and how important the group is to me. I’m glad Flor is part of it now.”
The presentation launched the 20th anniversary education campaign of the Kumares & Kumpares, as ALLICE members call themselves. See www.allicekumares.com.
Major milestone
Last month San Mateo County Supervisor David Canepa swore in the milestone leadership team that includes retired Kaiser Permanente Care Manager RN Malou Aclan, who manages the resource provider committee.
Current members are American Infrastructure Funds executive assistant to the CEO/church leader Allen Capalla (on leave); pastry chef/entrepreneur Bettina Santos; journalist/nonprofit program manager Cherie Querol Moreno; massage therapist Edna Biscocho Murray; Family Nurse Practitioner Elsa Agasid; San Mateo County Health System Behavioral Health & Recovery Services Director Dr. Jei Africa; Colma Mayor Joanne del Rosario; First Republic Bank Private Wealth Director Jose Antonio; AARS-Healthright 360 Program Director Junior Flores; Kaiser Permanente LMFT Nan Santiago; Denton’s Law Officees paralegal Nellie Hizon; and retired LMFT Paulita Lasola Malay. SSF resident/community activist Lydia Pomposo will join them as the newest Kumare.
ALLICE Kumares & Kumpares and key County ally Supervisor Canepa gear up for 20th anniversary projects (from left, seated): Joanne del Rosario, and Flor Nicolas and junior Kumares Talia and Scarlet Wong; standing: author, Lydia Pomposo, Nellie Hizon, Edna Murray, Malou Aclan, Canepa, Nan Santiago, Bettina Santos Yap, Junior Flores, Jennifer Jimenez Wong, and Jei Africa. TONY BAYUDAN photo
Allies or “Kaakbay” span the cross-section of the Filipino American community and beyond, mirroring the issue’s prevalence in all levels of society.
The Philippine Consulate General is a founding partner along with Philippine News Today. Seton Medical Center, Lucky Chances and Moonstar Restaurant were among pioneer partners later joined by Kuya’s Asian Cuisine and Hapag Pilipino.
Positively Filipino and Inquirer.net have consistently covered the subject and the organization’s efforts.
Colma was the first town to mandate a domestic violence workshop for its city leadership and police department that was open to the community. For the past two years, the town leadership has awarded grants for the organization’s outreach programs.
Daly City in 2019 was the first municipality to host an ALLICE event at its City Council Chambers.
South San Francisco is the latest city to debunk the belief that domestic violence is not a private matter but rather a shared community responsibility. Nicolas announced resumption of ALLICE upcoming twice-yearly abuse presentations-resource fairs in person after three years of virtual events with the first set for June 17 at her city’s Municipal Services Building.
If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, call the National Domestic Violence Hoteline – 800-799-7233.
