The Talking Stage: Meaning and How to Get Out
Before you say, “define the relationship,” new rules for dating pop up in the magical world of Gen Z. And that is where the talking stage comes in. The talking stage is the newest form of dating torture. It takes hookup culture and casual dating to a whole new level.
To explain better, in the talking stage, you’re not in a relationship or say you’ve not started dating. In this stage, there is zero commitment, and you wouldn’t want to set high expectations. You have plenty of time to determine whether you will be with the person or not. Though you’re yet to decide, you relate with each other.
This stage involves several activities aimed at getting to know each other better. In this article, you’ll learn what it means to be in the talking stage and how to get out of it. Would you not want to date?
What is the Talking Stage?
The talking stage is a non-existent relationship between two people who have expressed a mutual romantic interest in each other and are willing to get to know themselves better.
In this stage, you’ll probably be texting the person every day for weeks or months. By doing this, you get closer and emotionally attached.
How do you know you’re in the Talking Stage?
You can tell you’re in the talking stage when you get to communicate more. Also, you ask questions and get to know their likes and dislikes, text every day to know if they are fine, if their day is going well and what they are up to.
You might decide to meet up and interact physically with the person, go out for a dinner date, go to their house for a sleepover, and probably have sex. It is a stage where you become more attached and attracted to the person.
The talking stage is full of emotions, and you have feelings for each other. However, this stage is romantic but can’t be seen as love because there isn’t any commitment. You might decide not to speak with the person again without any explanation.
This can also be when you’re unsure of the other person’s intentions or feelings. Though you’ve been talking and getting to know each other, you aren’t sure where it is headed. You might find the person attractive, but you aren’t sure if you want to move forward.
How to Free yourself from the Talking Stage
Meeting a person you’re attracted to gives so much excitement, especially when it brings about the possibility of romance. But the problem is that not everybody is good at telling the person they’re attracted to that they’re interested in a relationship.
You might even feel nervous at first instance about how to get that person to like you, but it is completely normal. If you’re not nervous about it, it means there’s no emotion between you two, or you don’t have feelings for the person.
So, more than the butterflies in your stomach, not just your hands being clammy or your stomach in knots, having high expectations and being ready for a relationship commitment can be a good sign that you need to leave the talking stage.
Like being described, the talking stage might look like the feelings developed before actually dating, but it is not dating; it remains the talking stage. It is a vague or poorly defined relationship between two people.
22-year-old Tatyana in Tampa says, “It’s doing everything that is required of a relationship without the relationship title.” So, we’re sharing the following tips to help you get out of this stage without being heartbroken.
Be Clear with your Communication
You have probably been texting each other and talking about things. Quit saying simple things and get to know each other better. Casual talks might include jokes, small talk, gossip, or trivial conversation.
Be open-minded or more open in your conversation and determine if you both like each other. Instead of wasting a long period in the talking stage, it would help you know what is next.
In this situation, you’ll soon realize that one person might like the other more than the other person does. It even helps you know if you should go ahead and date the person or call it quits among each other.
Talk in Person
Most people have a love-hate relationship with texting or chatting, but if you want to date or be in a relationship with someone, it requires more effort than chatting on the phone for an hour.
Of course, the introvert in you loves that you can take as long as you please to answer someone, but at the same time, it can’t replace the connection you will get from good, face-to-face interaction.
You will need to present yourself as someone who prefers real-life conversations instead of extended texting sessions. Though texting can be a very easy way to get to know someone, you must interact with this person physically.
Doing this will make you know immediately if this person is only looking for a relationship of convenience or is interested in dating. It would be clear if you’re going to be together, or that person would have unlimited access to your time and emotions without ending up together or in a relationship.
Make your Intentions Known
Sometimes, you have to be upfront to get what you want, especially if you have a sincere good feeling about this person and don’t want to call it quits yet. When you realize that you are interested in that person, be honest enough to say it.
You must let the person know if you want to get out of the talking stage. Also, be aware that you’re interested in a relationship. Don’t worry about making a fool of yourself. Even when it seems you’re doing this, it would probably increase your chances of making your way into their heart and making them accept you.
The truth is the person may not reciprocate your feelings at first. This person may not like you the way you do or share your feelings, and they could end things with you, but it is okay, and it doesn’t matter; make a move and don’t scare away thinking you’re looking ahead to rejection.
Fear of rejection is why many people will linger in the talking stage. They’re afraid that if their feelings are out there, everything will end, and they’d prefer and choose to have confusion within them than ruin things by being honest.
The worst that could ever happen is that they would turn you down and not reciprocate your feelings. Then you can choose whether or not you want to spend time trying to convince and impress this person that you’re worth loving, or you might decide to look out for someone else.
You might have watched a “will they, won’t they” TV show and screamed at or pleaded on the screen for one person to say how they feel so the truth is out there and they could move on together or apart. This is that exact moment for you.
Your intentions matter
You’ll never know the possibilities if you don’t tell that person how you feel about them and make your intentions known.
Maybe they are interested in getting to know you more, aren’t on the same page as you, or want to end things. But isn’t that better than not knowing at all?
Rejection at the moment is painful and somewhat harsh. But in the long run, it is so worth it. And in addition, you’ll never get out of the talking stage if you don’t say something.
Life is too short not to make a move on opportunities. So when you find this opportunity, take hold of it as fast as you can. Ask them out on a date, and don’t beat around the bush; do it.
You don’t always get what you want in life, but whatever ends up happening, what you’re after, is making progress, which is moving through the natural stages of a relationship. You don’t want to be in the talking stage forever, do you?
So to make any progress, you need to try your luck by taking a leap of faith. Understand that sometimes the thing or person you want most might not be an option.
You must look at your other options and keep moving when that’s the case. So you see, it’s a two-way thing. If you don’t, you’ll only regret it, and If you do, on the other hand, you may win and be extremely happy you did.
If you can successfully share your interest and are open to the next stage, it is enough to lay down some intention and move forward.
The dreaded talking stage lasts just a bit longer than we’d like. Or it might seem to never come to an end, but you need to be confident enough to tell the person your intention.
If it works out, you’ve successfully scaled the talking stage. If not, you should be glad you didn’t waste more time with someone who isn’t looking for the same type of relationship that you want.
So, if you’re in the talking stage and want to move on to dating, be aware that it won’t just happen by some miracle or because you want it to. You will only realize that you sit on the talking stage for months. And just hoping for something more because you’re afraid to say something or make a move.
And, of course, you don’t have to jump from talking into a relationship. But going from talking to dating is a nice transition. If you’re ready to leave this stage, remember the steps above. Be clear in your communication, talk in person, and make your intentions known.