Community leader-stalker and other sexual harassment stories from Fil-Am women
NEW YORK — Nancy is a 39-year-old businesswoman who used to regularly chat with a male friend, a well-to-do community leader, in his seventies.
A few weeks ago, she was stunned when he told her that he was masturbating while chatting with her. He told her when he “came.” Right away, she decided to block him on Messenger.
It is not only comedian Louis C.K. who masturbated before his victims. What happened to Harvey Weinstein in Hollywood is reverberating in the Filipino American community because sexual harassment knows no race or culture.
“He said he keeps 30 pictures of me on his phone,” said Nancy as she shared the story with The FilAm. “I asked where did you get them? He said, you posted them on Facebook. I was shocked. That was stalking.”
Nancy is not the only Filipina American who has been sexually harassed by men who think they wield power.
Leticia, an undocumented housekeeper, told of how she was molested by a Filipino building superintendent. She rememberd coming home upset one afternoon because she lost her job. The super, a friend of her roommate tried to console her, putting his arm around her. He then tried to kiss her and pinned her down on the floor.
“Wala kang trabaho, wala kang papel, tapos ganyan pa sasapitin mo (You have no job, no papers and this is what you get)” said Leticia when reached by The FilAm. She said she has kept this story from family and friends for so long, and it is therapeutic to be able to speak about it now.
The harassment did not end after she rejected his advances with a knee to his crotch. The super, a naturalized U.S. citizen, would constantly threaten to report her and have her deported. She decided to leave the apartment where he worked, and move elsewhere.
Like comedian Louis C.K., one Filipino community leader said he masturbated, then climaxed, while chatting with a Filipina on Messenger.
A businesswoman from NYC, Betty, said she was threatened with rape by a Filipino man she met in a hotel with friends. When all of them decided to spend the night in a hotel room because it was getting late, the man lay on top of her while their friends were in the same room sleeping.
“It’s hard to trust,” she said. “We are in the room with other people.”
Nancy, Leticia and Betty are just three Fil-Am women who agreed to share their stories as victims of men who use sex as a weapon of control and aggression. The men are not necessarily affluent, although in the case of Nancy, her harasser is a wealthy community leader who owns a nice car. He is regarded by many as “respectable” because he belongs to several organizations, and is constantly photographed with important personalities in the community.
Then there is the photographer who brushes his hand past his young models’ breasts during photo shoots. Another is the business owner who is known to ask women for dates during job interviews. These stories are known in the community.
“In fact, every time I see him, he speaks politely and respectfully,” she said with a laugh, noting the irony. In Messenger, the man she calls “Tito” to indicate respect for an elderly male, was constantly telling her that he loved her and ached to see her.
Betty’s abuser was also in business. When the incident happened, she was just starting out on her own.
All three women did not report their revolting experiences to police authorities. It was quite understandable in the case of Leticia, who was living in the shadows, worried about being deported. Betty just gave a shrug. Nancy did not want to hurt the elderly man’s reputation.
“I don’t think he’s sick, I think he’s just lonely,” she said. “He has a nice family.”
(All women interviewed requested anonymity.)
